


Subjective Realities

by Hereisthere_gg



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, How can this be, I am disapointed in myself, Illusions, My....least saddest angst yet???, Nightmares, what the heck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 05:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10507017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hereisthere_gg/pseuds/Hereisthere_gg
Summary: Adrien Agreste lives a normal life. He loved his mom and dad are awesome, his friends couldn't be cooler, and nothing displeases him for long.Everything is awesome.(Gabriel is more than ashamed of what he's done. Ashamed can not even begin to graze over the utter disgust he feels at what he's done.But it's what Adele would've wanted.)





	1. His

**Author's Note:**

> .............

_Flashes._

_Hot, red--white--close, too close. Shouting? No, just loud talking. He's being pushed around, he can feel the hands, the sudden jerks of motion making his brain feel like it's hitting the sides of the inside of his skull and sudden feelings of vertigo make him want to fall and curl up. Words he knew, couldn't make out through a whitish and soft haze. Blue? Purple. Something soft--was it a bed?--and the whitish, almost comforting haze is replaced by something else, something almost sinister, and then all sensation is cut off._

* * *

_Dark. Black. Everywhere. He wants to scream, to thrash, but he tries to move his limbs and they're so heavy, too heavy to move. Sluggish. Everything is slow and filled up. Stuffy. He can't think right._

* * *

  
_Ahh...a...light? White, unlike the bright flashes from earlier...softer, warmer. Something welcoming radiates from it._

_..._

_He likes it._

 

* * *

The sharp ring of an alarm clock doesn't wake him up. He was already up.

Dripping eyes stared at sweaty hands. He brought them slowly, slowly to his face and cherished the assurances of motion, of feeling, of sensation.

He hates nightmares.

\---------

"Adrien," a soft tap on his door is welcomed, and doesn't go unheard even with the running water. "Breakfast is ready."

He can't resist the grin that overcomes his features, previous gloom forgotten momentarily for the much loved prospect of food.

"Ah, since you have such a busy day today, the chef only prepared a tartine for you to eat on the way."

Biting his lip, the blond contemplated over his wardrobe choices. Eh, no, he doesn't really like that anymore...no, he wore that before... "Really? Aw, I kinda wanted a croissant or two."

"Oh. Well, here it is!" There was a small, quiet chuckle. "Come out soon. You wouldn't want to be late!" And the voice faded away as the woman walked away from his door.

Smiling, Adrien picked out a black hoodie with green paw print designs on it, making a trail around the hoodie and the matching jeans. It was exactly what he wanted! "Yeah, mom!"

 

* * *

"Ooh!" Adrien all but ran by the table in his rush, forgetting about the time in his relaxation. "Thanks mom!"

"Don't thank me, thank the chef!" Smiling, Adele Agreste stood by. "She puts a lot of work into feeding you."

"Mhm." Adrien glanced around the foyer only momentarily before resting a hand on the front doors, pushing them open only slightly. "I wanted to say bye to papa before I left..." A faint feeling of sadness, of disappointment settled deeply into his gut.

It was foreign.

He didn't like it.

"Ah, Adrien!" Gabriel Agreste stood at the top of the stairway before descending, small smile in place. "I hoped I would see you before you left." Reaching his son, he ruffled the golden locks only a little bit before Adrien laughed, grasping it and keeping it from messing with his hair any more.

"I did too, papa." He pushed the door open wider, just enough for him to leave through. "Well, I'm going to hang out with friends! See you later!"

His parents laughed together, holding each other close.

"See you soon!"

 

* * *

 

"-and then there I was, in a mob of angry dudes and his mother, all crowding around me-"

"Hey!" Alya shouted from the other side of the park, grin prominent. Beside her, Marinette sat, calmly licking a chocolate and vanilla ice cream swirl. Adrien kinda wanted some, as he only had vanilla.

"Hey, Alya! How's the Ladyblog coming along? You got any new deats on our favorite hero?" Nino sat on the bench with Marinette and Alya, Adrien choosing to sit on top of the backrest because it made him feel cool. Licking absentmindedly at his chocolate-vanilla swirl cone, he pulled at the neck of his hoodie. It was kinda hot today, wasn't it? Eh, he could deal.

"Oh!" Marinette tried grabbing for her hat, but the sudden breeze plucked it right from her hair--sans ponytails, by the way--and there was a kind of scrabbling match to get it; Alya reaching, then Nino, then Adrien finally getting it thanks to his height advantage. The wind died down slightly, leaving a pleasant brush against his cheeks as he presented Marinette with her sun hat.

"Oh, thanks Adrien!" Breathlessly, the black-haired girl slid it back onto her head. "You're a real life saver, you know that?"

He laughs, winking at Marinette. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

The black-haired girl winks back, stifling her own laughter.

 

* * *

  
Chat Noir practically flies over the rooftops of Paris as the black-clad super hero runs to meet his girlfriend. She said that she wanted to meet at the Eiffel today--not unusual, because she loved the view the tall structure gave and the atmosphere of the truly isolated location. No one else could see them, could hear them up there.

He had to admit--he liked it too

Ladybug greeted him with a warm gaze and a small basket. "I know you like the ones my parents make a lot--" reaching gloved fingers inside, Chat only grinned wider when she pulled out a hilariously Chat Noir-themed cupcake. "--but I was struck with inspiration."

Usually, Adrien would much prefer a Ladybug one, but Chat was kind of full of himself at the moment. And he loved chocolate chips, which were sprinkled generously over the green icing, drizzled with slightly runny chocolate syrup and had a light snowing of white sprinkles.

It looked like a dream.

He took the treat carefully, almost guiltily, being reminded that he didn't bring anything for her. That was kind of a stupid move; not to bring anything to your girlfriend when she asks you on a not-really-kinda-almost date. Rude much??

"Oh!" Grinning once again, Chat unzipped and reached into a pocket with one hand. "I kinda forgot, but dad said that he'd accept you and let you train under him!"

"He-" Ladybug froze in place, and Chat took the moment to absentmindedly wonder if he said the wrong thing as he contemplated where to begin on the Dreamlike Cupcake. "-He-he-he did?! As-let me train-?!"

"Yeah!" Nodding enthusiastically, Chat Noir took Ladybug's hands into his own. "Marinette, he said that he'd train you personally!" Sweeping a claw out dramatically, he offered her a charming grin. "He said that he'd teach you everything he knows."

"The-the contest didn't go into all that!" Bringing gloved hands up to her cheeks, she held them to hide her blush. "Oh, am I good enough? Did I--would I--"

"You can!" With sparkling green eyes, Adrien put down the DreamCake and looked into sapphire that he's had the honor to call his, holding now ungloved hands close with his now own exposed ones. "You can do anything you want to! You're amazing, Marinette!"

 

* * *

 

Okay, the contest didn't go into anything like that. There wasn't even a contest to begin with.

 _But,_ Adrien reflected, settling under his covers. _It made Marinette super happy._ And what makes her happy makes him happy. Her happiness makes him happy.

He was happy.

 

 

 


	2. Temporary Unpleasantries

_"Son..."_

_"D...dad...?"_

_"Th...this is for the best."_

_"Hawkmoth! You're not--what are you doing here?! Get away from me-! N-!"_

_"This is...for the best..."_

_"N...n....o..."_

_**'This is the worst yet, Gabriel.'** _

 

* * *

Adrien Agreste hit his head against the shower wall, pain ricocheting but not enough to make the filthy feeling intruding his brain go away.

It was the one thing that was still here that he didn't like.

 

* * *

After he had gotten dressed, he stared at himself in the mirror. He...looked tired. Bags under his almost dull green eyes told him that clearly.

He didn't like that.

A blink, and then bright emeralds twinkled with a pearly grin. Yes, he was happy.

 _No_ , he thought, clutching his stomach harder than needed. No, he doesn't feel ugly and nasty inside. He has no reason to. He doesn't.

He is happy.

~~_ Why aren't I happy _ ~~

 

* * *

 

 

"Adrien," His mother says conversationally over breakfast. He wanted to sit with her this morning, so now he has time to. "Are you...unsatisfied?"

"What?!" Adrien shook his head vehemently, throat tightening and untrusted. "Wh-" he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck; then he winced at his own behavior. "What do you mean? I'm...satisfied." Swirling his spoon around his cereal with slightly furrowed eyebrows, "I'm...happy."

He gave her a full smile. "I'm perfectly happy!"

"Oh..." Adele seemed to dampen for a moment before brightening. "Okay! And..." Pulling out her phone, Adrien's mother tapped a bit. "Nathalie said that you can go see that new movie with your friends!"

"Oh, really?" Adrien's eyes flicked away. "Their parents said yes?"

"Of course!" Adele's grin was unwavering.

(For the slightest moment, Adrien wished it wasn't there. It was almost...annoying in how constant it was. But he also wanted her to be happy. And her not smiling meant that she wasn't happy. So, the smile stayed.)

"Okay." Standing, Adrien grinned falsely. "I'll be going now!"

"Have a nice day!"

He didn't think about his pere as he left, which resulted in him not making an appearance.

What he did think about was how nasty he still felt, now worsened inexplicably.

* * *

 

"Hey, Adrien", Nino shoved him lightly, resulting in an almost genuine smile from the blond. "Somethin' wrong, dude?"

"No." Smile twitching, Adrien made a grab at Nino's hat to get his attention away from his expressions. "I'm perfectly fine!" Succeeding, he slid the hat into his own head and stuck his tongue out smugly. "Why do you ask?"

"Ah, nothing, dude!" Nino shook his head, grabbing at the red cap that Adrien was now holding away from him at a distance, laughing almost genuinely. "Give me back my hat!"

 

* * *

 

Alya gave him an inquisitive look. "Adrien, you don't look so-"

Oh. He bit the inside of his cheek. No, he did not want to be asked and evade the same question again.

"-hot. Did...you miss the latest update on the Ladyblog?"

Ah, there was a question he could answer! "Yeah, I kinda did! Mind filling me in?"

Marinette stood by quietly.

 

* * *

 

 

"Adrien, you're obviously upset." A small, ungloved hand caressed the edge of his black mask. "May I ask why?"

"I'm not," Leaning into the touch, he gave her an almost sharp look. "Can you guys please stop asking me that?"

"But you wanted me to," She said in response, hand smoothly gliding into his golden locks. He raised an eyebrow, closing his eyes and purring involuntarily. "I what?"

"You wanted me to." The hand receded, leaving him to whine softly at the loss. "I wouldn't be asking you if you didn't."

Green eyes stared in confusion and slight déjà vu. "Ah...okay."

"So," Her hand returned, playing with and folding his twitching ears in vague amusement; he smiled genuinely at the touches. "What's wrong?"

"I..." He looked away almost guiltily. "I...I don't know. It isn't you!" He rushed to say, gazing at her with wide eyes. "It isn't you! It's never you! I love you!" Her smile dissipated any fear of misunderstanding, making him mirror it before letting it fade once again. "I just...maybe..."

"Hm?" Her hand stilled, but he didn't notice. Staring down at his gloves, his voice was barely a whisper.

"Maybe I'm bored." He finally looked at her, green orbs wide, hints of desperation shining, almost pleading. "Maybe everything's too easy."

 

* * *

His room was warm and welcoming when he got back, but he detransformed rather roughly and plopped himself on his couch, denying himself immediate bed rest and relaxation. No, he wanted to figure things out.

Green orbs glared out into the night sky for a whole five minutes before just growing tired of trying to find the real root of his dissatisfaction, throwing his arms up and then down, forcefully pushing himself off of his couch. Maybe he'll find out one day. Today wasn't it.

Curling up under the covers, his last thought was for some inner peace.

It was the one thing that still displeased him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _  
> **APRIL FUCKIN FOOLS ** __****_  
> 

Adrien Agreste had been lost for three months.

That is what she knew.

It was barely two weeks after his short attendance that the class was told by a morose Mrs. Bustier that Adrien was kidnapped.

The silence in that moment was deafening. Marinette's ears rang loudly in a sharp and defiant contrast.

They rang and rang until she got home, closed her trapdoor, climbed up to get loft bed, crawled under her covers, and finally allowed the despair and hopelessness to consume her.

If only for a moment.

* * *

The akuma attack that day was, also very understandably, someone outraged at Adrien's disappearance. Calling himself the detective, he was going to find out the culprit of Adrien's obvious kidnapping and "bring them to justice."

Chat Noir didn't show up. She handled the akuma herself that day, but she realized with a with a quiet sigh that Chat could've be upset, too.

* * *

And that was what she thought until she realized almost a full and hazy week later that Chat hadn't shown up or hadn't been seen since before Adrien's disappearance.

She couldn't go looking for him. She had nowhere to start. Alya, of course, started posting notices and "if you've seen him or know who he is please tell him he is needed" or whatever but Marinette didn't believe for a second that they would work.

______________________________________

 

She marked the third week off on her calender.

He isn't coming back. For all they know, he could be dead.

* * *

* * *

 

_"Gabriel, promise me that you'll protect our son and keep him happy."_

_"Yes. Of course, Adele."_

_"At...At any cost. You know that, right?"_

_"Of course, Adele."_

* * *

* * *

 

 

Gabriel entrusted the akuma to do their job. Which they always did, flawlessly.

When the Akuma enters an object on the person, He gains a certain control over them. He can control their body, and influence their mind.

Blood made no difference.

 

He told himself he was doing the right thing when the alums entered Adrien's ring. He told himself he was doing the right thing as it sparked and bubbled mysteriously and ignored the cries of  _that thing._ Even as Adrien's expression of utter terror and confusion and anger melted away, he repeated it to himself silently.

 _It is what she would've wanted,_ he whispered to himself as he ran ungloved hands through golden locks, something Adrien hadn't experineced while consious and something he'll now "experience" as much as he could ever want.

It said a lot about Adele when he knew the statement rang truer than most said about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (He felt disgusting as his son's chest rose and fell slowly, silently, because he knew it implied a regular sleep that anyone could wake up from and that was a complete lie.)
> 
> I DIDN'T FOOL YOU FOR A MINUTE, DID I?!
> 
> (now that says a lot about _me _. Lol haha)__

**Author's Note:**

> ......
> 
> ......
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> **  
> _(◕‿◕✿) _ ****__  
> 
> 
> **  
> **  
> __  
> __  
> **Never trust me. Tehe~**  
>   
>   
> 


End file.
